Friday, December 19, 2008

We came, she smiled and he fell for it

Delhi, Indore, Mumbai, Singapore, Trivandrum, Bangalore: traveling to more than 6 cities and meeting more than 50 friends in the last 15 days, I have been down the memory lane so many times I have realized that the more I go down that road, the more vivid and more pleasurable it becomes... I thought I would let you people get a sneak preview into these journeys, for more details .. err Contact ME :)

Singapore

Kondu, Bullshee and ME embarked on the first international trip amidst a lot of speculation that we would scoot at the last moment and that going international is a frontier a bit too far.. well we proved them wrong and we had a helluva time. I agree Spore is smaller than Bangalore, hell I heard it is smaller than trivandrum.. but believe me in terms of entertainment quotients it has more to offer than all 4 metros combined! well maybe I am exaggerating, but again you did not have the opportunity to see Bullshee in action. Let me give you one excerpt:

First night in Singapore and we venture into the first bar that comes our way. One cute waitress comes to take the order and she (un)knowingly smiles at Bullshee. Bullshee smiled back at her and grinned his infamous 'kaamaprandha chiri' (amorous grin) and she grinned back him and said 'Nanri' ( thank you in Tamil) .. and from first principles we came to the conclusion that the waitress had to be pitch drunk to something so foolhardy ... well, little did we know..

Waitress: Hey, Can I get you ppl something *burp*

BS: Yeah, get us a jug of beer

waitress comes back with the beer and smiles again and mumbles something, comes up to us with a small glass of her own and pours some beer into the glass and says cheers!
bullshee for people who do not know him is very possessive about two things: his bike and his beer and his girl(when he finds one)
Bullshee doesn't even notice this while Kondu is completely pissed off and is worried about the waitress asking for one of his ciggys next ..
meanwhile Bullshee introduces himself: Hey call me KK .. ( yeah you heard me right, K and then another K)
Me and kondu mumble our rather unpronounceable Indian names ( according to Bullshee, these pretty damsels cannot pronounce the letter R) after which the waitress giggles and mentions her name- Sharon ... Bullshee is out for the count, in 7th heaven and is chanting her name .. sharon, shaaron .. shaaaaaron !
He even tried teaching her some Mallu vernacular, leveraging on her limited Tamil vocabulary( she knew only one word in tamil .. nanri .. bullshee tried to convert that into Nanni) trying to increase the the compatibility and parental acceptance levels...

Many jugs of beer later interspersed with multiple chanting of sharon, sharon ... Sharon was back with the bill .. Bullshee pounced on the bill, took out his wallet and flashed a $50 note .. the conniving waitress brings back the change, smiles at Bullshee and said "Nanri, KK" .. and that is when all hell broke loose, Bullshee threw all the money from his wallet in the direction of Sharon, and started thumping his chest and started crooning and dancing in Elvis priesley sshtyle, " take all my money, darling .. I just want you to call me .. KK"

yeah, we lost a lot of money, but that performance was worth hundred times more than any live concert I have been to .. what happened to Bullshee's and Sharon's love story, u ask .. well, I be damned if I know .. Kondu and I were too busy collecting all the cash that Bullshee had showered around Sharon !

There was also the 'topless bus", HOOTERS bar, sunday evening pick me ups in clarks quay, the awesome water and gravity defying frisbee sessions at Sentosa, brainstorming sessions to feed the pesky kids in the backseat to the lions ... but all that pales in front of this incident .. believe me this set the tone for the entire trip .. Bullshee YOU ROCK !

Monday, May 26, 2008

London Diaries

the month that was:

Well I have been waiting in the wings for a perfect moment to happen but so many things have happened which have fallen in the category of 'almost perfect' .. and I am not ready to wait no more ( to be read as: I am not getting sleep)

So here goes the list of .... random things that happened in the last one month:

1. Chelsea losing the champions league final and also the league to ManU. Somehow I have a feeling that missed penalty is going to change a lot of things at Chelsea.

2. Getting to see a live photo shoot, and that also I suspect it was some lingerie modeling, was too good to be true. It happened right across my office ( my office is on the 13th floor) and it all seemed surreal.. until later in the day i came to know that my team mates had a telescope installed on the 14th floor for their 'viewing pleasure' !

3. Seeing an ad which said 125 pounds per week to stay in central London.. yeah yeah I am not dreaming. I saw it .. and I diligently took down the number and was about to call when I realized it was for a car parking space! .. people pay 10,000 bucks per week to park their car .. to quote a good friend of mine " I could buy a Maruti 800 in two weeks with that money" - no dont ask me which model!

4. Getting hooked up with a European girl .well this bubble burst pretty quickly . she had another boyfriend .. and more importantly she was 30! ( well in my defense she did not look that old)

5. Shopping: After shopping for one week in central London ( window shopping, they just wouldnt allow me inside in my attire) we landed up at Oxford street where you could haggle and get things cheaper and see discounts being given in every alternate shop , and surprise surprise .. either all teh shops are owned by Indians .. or the goods sold are made in India ( or sri Lanka, or taiwan . or yeah China) ..

6. The secretary got stuck in the lobby and I rescued her with my mmm .. ID card .. but the look on her face was priceless .. ( for those who don't know the story behind this, ping me for personal details .. )

7. Chelsea football club: Went and visited the Stamford Bridge and took loads and loads of photographs :) .. but the megastore was too pricey to buy anything ... :(

well will continue this thread later .. gotta go back to sleep .. have a big day tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tag

I got tagged and given I am not busy eating bacon and eggs ..(although I still struggle to gulp down bread and cornflakes every morning) .. I have decided to do the honourable thing. So here goes:

LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: RACE,(No I am not cogging from Anphy, IIM professors instill enough fear in us, that even people like me put away the small bits of paper that were as essential as a calculator) .. the movie was crap! even by Bollywood standards. The only saving grace was that I was flanked by two pretty ladies which made for a pleasant distraction.

2)WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?: Kite runner by Khaled Hosseini. Now don't stare at the screen like that .. I DO read books once in a while .. its a very touching novel, and the irony that the author brings out makes it very enjoyable and realistic to a great extent. Must read. ( gawd, I sound like those rediff book reviewers)

3)FAVORITE BOARD GAME? : Does Pool/Snooker count ?? hmm.. would have to be Chess. My love started when I could beat my mom and sister with uncanny ease. My mom mistook me for the next 'Viswanathan Anand' and enrolled me in some professional tournament, and the next 15 chess games made me understand that board games are not my cup of tea. I had a second lease of Chess mania when I got new scapegoats in the form of my niece and nephew .. but they have also caught on and have started having airs about themselves .. I guess its time I enrolled them in the same professional tournament !

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? : Reader's digest .. RD has been my favorite for variety of evolving reasons: initially it was the laughter the best medicine and the 'humor in uniform' .. then it was the Otto Berlington ads .. and then it was for the classy articles and captivating stories. RD gets my vote hands down.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS? : Coffee, the smell of the earth when the first showers wet the ground, but the winner is :
the smell of pudina chutney and idli that Mom makes .. coming from a person stuck in London with Cornflakes and butter toasts .. dear readers please empathize.

6. FAVORITE SOUND? : "ok, time is up, everyone put your pens down" .. which inevitably indicates the end of (yet) another exam and gets me that much closer to my MBA degree. Never before has studies been a struggle. But never before did I learn so much either. No pain, no gain.

7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? : You move ahead in life and then you realise that you could have done some previous part differently. Regret can gnaw away at your happiness very quickly. And, believe me, its very painful.

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?: Different things through different phases in life:

pre schooling days: Did I wet my bed today ?

2nd - 5th : What is the day today ? Is there a PT period today ? ( PT period is like a games period)

6th - 8th : Oh shit, I am going to be late for the school bus again.

9th - 10th: Oh there is a cricket match today, what excuse can I make at home so that I can stay home and watch the match ?

11th - 12th: not another tuition .. I hate tuitions, I hate CBSE, I hate studies .. oh crap I am late again ..

post 12th : I wish I were in School ..

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? : Pizza hut .. I know its not exactly fast food .. but that's how close I get to eating fast food outside. I miss the ambiance ( or lack of it) and the gang of friends who used to hang out there ..

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? : There is a tradition in my family where the first male child gets the name of the grand father and female of the grand mom. So ... Mom, happy ? ( it never hurts to remain in mum's good books)

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D...? : BE RICH ! .. other than stating the obvious .. I would buy a penthouse in London , Paris, Mumbai and yeah get myself a beach house/mansion in Goa ... blah blah .. Always have dreamed about HOW I would get rich .. never reached the part about how I would spend the money .. guess I have to sleep more from now on .. :)

12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? : Yeah .. as fast as my Honda Activa takes me . ok don't laugh. It can be pretty quick for city roads. *shrugs his shoulders*

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? : No. Come to think of it .. thats one thing even 'Caligula' did not have .. the person who wrote this question must be a genius.

14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY? – Cool .. I love the weather and the rain lashings .. as long as it does not lead to a power cut ( and the subsequent calls to the electricity board people)

15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? – hot wheels ? trying to buy a Merc, hmm .. inherit rather ..or is it acquire .. ( will make do with a Merc as Dowry .. guahahahaha ..) all u feminists out there .. SHUT UP!


16. FAVORITE DRINK? : Sweet Lassi served with Malai on top .. Thats the closest I have got to losing my senses over a drink ..


17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD..” – read books, play football, watch football, talk to my friends, and yeah sit at home and eat mom's food ..

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? : I eat anything that is classified VEG. Anything.

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE? : BLACK. BLACK. BLACK. i.e. if there is any hair left to be dyed in a few years time .. :(

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN : Ambala, Bathinda, Naliya ( Gujarat), Jodhpur, Ahmedabad, Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Bangalore, Agra, and yeah last my hometown TRIVANDRUM .. and yeah presently in London doing my internship!

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? : Football, EPL in particular .. passionate about Chelsea FC. Also follow tennis, Basketball. Cricket .. actually leave me in a room with a TV which has sky and setanta sports and I would happily spend a few days ( or is that a few months) there in solitary confinement.

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU : I could get away with saying that she is 'nice' , cute, understanding .. or blah blah ... but the one thing that differentiates her from the other females I know is her attitude and the 'non girly' things that she does .. ( I am not sure she would agree with me) .. but still ..


23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? : My football boots, my socks, shin guards, and yeah under some circumstances .. ME.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN? : Yeah. I love being myself and also the chances that I get such wonderful parents and sister is close to impossible. I would take up that offer any day.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? : night owl - used to sleeping at 5 am everyday. IIM life can do that to your bioligical clock. Otherwise you would miss out on all the fun that happens on Campus ..

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? :hmm.. *ignorance disclaimer* .. hence left unanswered

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? : Home, any place with lotsa friends, or some place with just my closest buddies .. nothin better than to have someone close to you who can understand whats going through your brain without ever having to utter a word ..

28. FAVORITE PIE?: walking back the memmory lane, the pie that i most fondly remember has to be 'American Pie I' .. that Nadia female was HOT !

29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? : Butterscotch .. any day.

30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? : nice try .. what makes you think I will tag this to anyone . :P

And there ends the ordeal of answering 30 Q .. ( frankly i got bored by the time i reached the 15th Q . i can sympathise with ppl who managed to read this far) .. thanks a lot for the patient hearing ..
Office beckons .. *I wish I was back in School*

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Photo Faux Pas

This blog reminds me of a crazy incident that happened to me long time back ..

My school gang was meeting at some restaurant to have lunch and catch up on the latest gossip ( and create some more) .. and there across the floor sat one very beautiful girl ( and as it always happens she was there with her boyfriend and other friends who looked like they were ready to kill her boyfriend to get their chance) .. All the straight males in the gang ( me included of course) started drooling all over her, but given the number of her boyfriends sitting with her, that was how far we were going to get ...

And then we hit upon this crazy idea of getting her foto and after a lot of attempts ( which were in no way discreet) we succeeded ( no points for guessing who was the main protagonist (!!) in this whole scene)

--->> fast forward one whole year ------>>

I am sitting with my girlfriend ( now don't ask which one) and there enters her 'best friend' and surprise surprise its a face I remember vaguely ( yeah, right) and to my astonishment that friend remembers MY face vividly... you can only imagine ( or.. can you ?) how the conversation would have proceeded from there onwards .. thankfully it was short and to the point and embarrassing to say the least !

In the end I was left wondering about two things :

first : Why do the girl friends best friend always have to be the 'super hot' female who looks 10 times hotter than ur own girlfriend and make you feel like u make the wrong choice ..

the second one was : Where the hell did I store the photo that we took that day ???

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

'broken' experiences

I know I have been really late in posting here. Initially it was the work pressure: coming from the s/w industry where i worked shorter hours than a govt employee, this was a rude shock to me.

Gradually the pressure lifted (atleast for ppl like me who thought it would be wise to just side step and enjoy the two years out here .. )

there are so many things to write about: my first term, first week, t nite, summers, the dorm parties and teh dorm naming ceremony etc etc . the list goes on and on and on ..

but the inspiration to blog comes for totally different reasons,

I just heard two very interesting stories from a friend of mine regarding HER life experience:

story 1
--------

She is walking down a pretty busy street trying desperately to ignore the stares of a particular man who kept rotating his head as the sunflower might in case the sun attempted to flee all of a sudden.. In her desperate attempt to get away from that place, she ended up breaking up her slippers. Totally dazed at her good luck, she tried in vain to flag down an auto ( murphy's law: when u need an auto, there are many coming ur way but all of them are ALWAYS occupied) .. she looked around for a cobbler who might be able to fix it for her ( so she claims) and then ... ok lets save tat for later ...

what would you ppl have done ?

- waited patiently for an auto and caught one and gone home? ( estimated cost: 50 bucks)

- my friends must be sniggering to themselves muttering under their breath" who cares about the slippers, I would chuck them and take the next bus home .. "

- worst case: called up a friend and asked him/her to pick u up from that place ..

- look around for a shop where u can buy an alternate pair of slippers ..

do i see some of you out there saying " yup, that would be a good idea" .. well she did exactly that . the problem was the nearest shop was a REEBOK showroom and she ended up buying a brand new sneakers worth around 5ooo bucks !!!! . My marketing profs keep preaching about impulsive buys and mind space, but this to me was mind boggling and outright stupid to say the least .. when I tried to talk sense into her ..she told me another incident which is


story 2
-----------

Have always heard from everyone who can speak that experience brings in loads of confidence to handle similar situations .. guess thats exactly what happened in her case..

she had a pretty decent day in office and towards the end of the day realized that the fly of her jeans was malfunctioning .. *stop laughing guyz, it is NOT funny*

(btw i must admit that i myself doubled over with laughter when i heard this) *grin*

Not to be outdone this time and armed with the proverbial experience of being in a 'similar' situation this time she does not even hesitate to make a quick exit from her office and hurries back ( home u think ?? nah .. ) .. she makes a beeline for the nearest Levi's store and gets herself a new pair of jeans worth 4K !!!

all things said and done money is supposed to be spent and it depends on the person on how he/SHE wants to spend it .. but i do wish to god that next time she is travelling in an auto, let the auto breakdown in front of a Merc showroom and there be no other transportation in the vicinity

ps: I always wanted to drive a Merc :) ..

Saturday, June 16, 2007

akkare akkare akkare !

My friend came from Tuticorin (where he claims he works) to tvm so that he could catch a flight to Dubai today. He lands at 10 in the morning and calls Anilesh and goes on a shopping spree .. ( he has an allowance of 10K for the trip accessories and he plans to get everything. for ppl who know my colg gang . its JT).

excerpts from what transpired during this period of total chaos:

scene 1
------------

J.t barges into the costliest retail store in the city and proclaims : "I don't care how much it costs, but I need the best."

hearing this, the prettiest damsel saleswoman walks over ,smiles demurely and asks " what is it that you intend to buy sir ?"

J.T (unabashedly) : get me 5 underwear !!!!

ps: anilesh looked around and said " I am NOT with him " and walked away.

scene 2
------------

They go into another showroom to get a tie. JT is in a very foul mood because he lost more than half an hour due to uncooperative(!!) staff at the previous place. so he goes into this shop, grabs a tie and says " I will pay the cash now, you can make the bill later .. "

the shop ppl being very honest and truthful (as all Indians are) say that they would not part with the 'tie' unless they have a bill for the transaction ..

JT grumbles "I hate these bloody Indians" and says in a dubai accent " ok ok hurry it up"

While the saleswoman is packing the tie .. JT gets hold of the bill, pays it and starts marching out of the shop .. perplexed and surprised .. the sales lady calls behind him " Sir, don't you need this thing" . She is holding in her hand the tie for which JT had just paid the bill.

JT .. nope , I don't need it .. you can keep it! " and walks out of the showroom triumphantly for having saved some time ..by not picking up the tie (yet paying for it).

Anilesh does the mopping up this time round.

Scene 3
----------

Next they move into a shoe bazaar ( chor bazaar types) and some thug hands him a shoe that he claims is 'woodlands' and is selling it at a discount - now it costs just 2500 .. JT jumps at the bargain and gives him the cash and before he could say " you can give me the bill later", the thug has vanished !!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he somehow finishes his shopping, get home. packs everything he has just bought + the official samples ( this is the reason why he is flying to dubai) and we pack him off to the airport .. we reach there and give him an emotional send off and start on our way back .. halfway back from the airport he calls and asks us to come back to the airport ..

me: why? what happened ?
JT: eda, they are not letting me take those samples with me .. so you guys will have to take it back.

me: then what will you do once you get there ? what will you show your client ?
JT: I have taken fotos, I will show them the snaps of the sample.

Ok ppl .. the sample that he was taking with him was some kind of SOIL .. foto of soil ????

scene 4
-----------
emigration check officer (ECO) : sir are you going on business?
JT : (impatiently) yes yes .. (looks at his Rolex watch).

ECO : Sir , could you please show me the license?
JT : huh , what license?

ECO: Sir don't you know .. you need a license to export Underwear from India to Dubai !

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I seriously doubt how he would last in Dubai for 5 days . I hope he keeps his hands in his pockets(!) and more importantly doesn't venture out to shop on his own .. ALL THE BEST J.T

nb: special thanks to Anilesh for filling me in on what I missed .. I arrived late(as usual) and missed the shopping part!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Cheque washing!

I know I have not been blogging regularly and as Bullshee says " this blog has spider webs hanging off it!" .. hmm .. am no cleanliness freak .. and lil spideys never hurt anyone .. so all those wannabe spidermans .. walk in and get bitten !

I was hanging out at my friends place, I get a call from my roomie-Thanku. He was going bonkers about some cheque.(uncashed one ofcourse!)

Thanku: Eda, do you remember giving me a cheque for 12K some time back ?
Me : err .. hmm ... yeah! (unless he is talking about something that i have to return .. what is the harm in saying YES!)

Thanku : hey, that cheque got washed off..

I have heard about bouncing cheques .. but washed off cheques.. *perplexed*

I knew that he had gone to some water theme park with his 'friends' .. but diving in with your wallet that has a cheque worth 12K .. ridiculous!

Me : so ?

Thanku : Do you think I can get another cheque from that person ?
Me : err .. *sheepish grin* ... time to own up my mistake .. which cheque are you talking about ?

Thanku : tries explaining .. eventually he succeeds! should have heard his sigh of relief at that point of time .. worth more than that washed out cheque i tell you!

Me : sure .......I will........ try asking him.. ( am still dazed that he had not encashed this cheque because this 'recent' incident happened almost two months ago!

He murmurs his thanks and signs off .. and leaves me thinking ..

1. What if the cheque was from some person I hardly knew .. slim chance he would write me another one!
In such a scenario who ends up being the loser ?

Me - who got my friend the phone worth 12K

or
Thanku: the person who lent me the 12K.

I thought and then decided let the JUNTA decide .. SO ..what do you people think ? ( i can always delete the 'unfavourable' posts! )